Old Things

Along with our house came some old things. Take, for instance, this latch to our bathroom door. Visitors to our house have a hard time figuring it out. Honestly, I puzzled over it a bit myself. Our boys used to find themselves locked in the bathroom after every use because of this antique-of-a-closure.

Another old thing of interest is the nearly-ladder of a staircase up to our attic and the crazy old remnant of a chimney you'll find once you've employed those ladder-stairs. Its stalwart bricks remain, reminiscing the sweet smell of wood fire and the good old days when they were useful. They are now past their prime, no longer connected to a wood stove or fireplace, oozing with thick, ancient tar, awaiting their day of disposal.

If you come to admire old things, you must experience our cellar. Walls of hand-picked stones, dirt floor, low ceiling lined with hand-hewn beams (many of which still have their bark), and a dark, narrow passageway to the crawl space that I hope never to have to crawl into.

So many old things, you see, because, our darling home herself is a relic from times past. Yes, she has had updates along the way (we have plumbing and electricity!) but she is unquestionably old. Her age, to me, is a charming feature. I like to wonder about all she's experienced and seen. I'm sure Auburn wasn't the first to be born within these walls. I think about the men who built her with their hands, without power tools or lumber yards and the women who maintained her while nurturing their families. Amazing, these people were, and they made my home amazing as well.

Our Own Darling Home

One year ago we further solidified our status as adults in the successful purchase of our first home.  It really almost didn't happen.  It truly is something of a miracle that it did, because the months and even years leading up to Thanksgiving day last year were a struggle.  We had tried our hardest to make a life Upstate work, but were stuck reaping the consequences of a few  poor decisions.  It wasn't working out.  For a while, we began to think that the heavens had decided against our living in this quiet, beautiful country.  For awhile, we gave up and looked at other options, all of which involved some other place, most of which were far from here, all of which were much less quiet or beautiful.    After a number of failed attempts to make a permanent habitation, we felt done trying.  

And then in the midst of searching other ideas, other places, other destinies, by a twist of fate we learned of a little green house in the middle of absolutely nowhere that suited us so well.  We called up the realtor from our past and she got us out to see it at the soonest possible moment, but our grand tour ended with her declaration of two offers already under consideration.  I felt deflated.  Again.  Maybe heaven was laughing at me?  We offered anyway, that very night, but we had no expectations, or if we did, they were expectations of the most unexpecting kind.  Even after our offer was accepted, we didn't get excited, barely broke a smile.  We just waited, no breath held, no hopes placed on pedestals, no anticipatory announcements.  We just waited, still ready to move on, walk away, start anew.  We just waited, while miracles unfolded, near seamless transitions materialized.  And then a happy ending.  Or beginning. 

To celebrate one year in our darling home, PTB got me a much-appreciated cheese grater, because every real home needs a working cheese grater  (our old one no longer functioned).  I will honor the occasion by dedicating a few posts on the old blog to our little house, so be on the look out.  

Gratitude 2011

According to the innards of this year's Thanksgiving Turkey (as per last year's tradition inception) we are grateful....

for family, a living room carpet, a new baby, Gerret's sunny personality and the way he makes me laugh, our two soft sweet kitties, the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the sweet peace it brings to life, "animals! All kinds of animals! Snakes!", snugly babies, Christmas, our cozy little house, this delicious lunch, cute babies, Nolan- who is so thoughtful and kind to all people, our new baby- Auburn, Halloween,
that it's almost Thanksgiving, Nolan and Gerret are such good big brothers, I have teachers at school,
to be sent to this lovely world, and
because "I love to get my new cat and my new dog".

The Passage of Time

I'm finding that a common theme in motherhood is the perceived acceleration of time.  One month suddenly feels like a day, five years like a month.  

Another is the desire to freeze time.  I wish I could save moments and return to them at any inclination.  Memory is not always enough.

There's a Placenta in My Freezer and Other Fabulous Facts & Photos

1. Miss Auburn was born on a Thursday morning in October. She arrived five days early (bless her heart).

2. The first phase of labor started Wednesday evening around 5 pm. I am a youth leader in my church and Wednesday nights are traditionally set apart for our activities. That particular Wednesday had a costume party planned for 7pm, complete with a black light, cider popsicles, and Carmel corn. Not only did my contractions and I attend, we shrouded ourself in panda attire so as not to be a "party pooper". At this point, you can call me a trooper.

3. Active labor started around 8 am and lasted three and a half hours.

4. Auburn was born at home, which was planned. She was also born on the bathroom floor, which was not planned. It was all very sanitary and was attended and cleaned up by a midwife.

5. At birth she weighed 9 lbs 8 oz on a faulty scale (which we did not realize). After 24 hours, she weighed 8 lbs 3 oz on two accurate scales, so her estimated birth weight is 8 lbs 5 oz.

6. She was 19 and a half inches long, which was Nolan's birth length, though he was more than a pound lighter.

7. She was born with dark hair and dark blue eyes.

8. The following are questions I am commonly asked with their answers:
Q-Why is she named Auburn when she doesn't have red hair?
A-She is named after the city of Auburn, NY, which is where my Grandma was from.

Q- Why did you have your baby at home?
A- Because I trust my body and consider childbirth to be a natural process that doesn't require hospitalization (if everything about it is low-risk). I also don't completely trust practices and procedures that are traditional in hospitals. In particular, I don't feel comfortable relying on the hospital closest to my house and the fact that it is thirty miles from my home made home birth more attractive.

Q- Did you want a water birth?
A- Not originally, so I didn't have a birthing tub on hand, but once in the moment, water sounded much more comfortable than land and I spent the last hour or more of labor in my bathtub and got out at the last minute (which is why she was born on the bathroom floor). If I could redo the whole experience, I think I would use a birthing tub.

9. Because Auburn's nursery is downstairs, our bedroom is upstairs, and Auburn requires attention in the middle of the night, PTB and I have been sleeping in the living room on the sleeper sofa. Believe it or not, I love doing this and I'm looking forward to having the Christmas tree all lit up where I sleep.

10. There is actually a placenta in our freezer. It's four weeks old today. What does one do with a placenta? Well..... Some people eat it (highly nutritional). Some people plant a tree over it in honor of their new child. Some people throw it away. Some people sell it on e-bay. Some people are too freaked out by it to even look at it, so it remains in the back left corner of the freezer, behind a stack of ice trays and next to a partially-used, three-year-old bag of corn.

Two Weeks

Passed like a dream

I floated along
absolutely smitten

By this little lady
Completely perfect,
Something of a dream

For whom these two weeks
were spent