To Do and Not To Do

This is about impulsions, particularly my impulsions. You see, there are things that I consciously try to accomplish each day, for which lists "To Do" are written. Most every day I write a new list and cross items off as the day progresses. These lists are good. They make a clean home, accomplish projects, prepare meals, help remember the things that I would purposely forget (like making phone calls). And then there is my subconscious. Subconscious is not interested in lists. She's all about spontaneous actions and snap decisions. Impulsions, if you will.

Right now, I work in my church as a youth leader. One theme that presents itself quite often in teaching has to do with decision making. I try to encourage making choices long before the opportunity presents itself, just like Elaine S. Dalton:
"When I was a young woman, I learned that some decisions need to be made only once. I wrote my list of things I would always do and things I would never do in a small tablet.... I made those decisions once, and then in the moment of decision, I knew exactly what to do because I had decided beforehand. When my high school friends said, 'Just one drink won't hurt,' I laughed and said, 'I decided when I was twelve not to do that.'"
That's what I teach. It is a method I endorse. It's what I pattern my own actions after, however there seem to be times, at least in my life, where the situation presenting itself is something I couldn't have preconceived. In those cases, my subconscious enters the scene, carrying in her suitcase spontaneity and a proclivity for impulsions.

The last time I can remember this happening was a number of months ago after the boys were in bed and I had finished my To Do list. For the days previous, the back of my mind had a thought flitting in and out about my hair's need for a trim. Mind you, I usually cut my own hair, so my heading for the bathroom with a pair of scissors wasn't all subconscious.
--Typically, I don't cut a lot. A little cut goes a long way with curly hair. Besides, I never went to beauty school, so I don't really know what I'm doing. How do I get the back of my head? Easy peesy. I cut it upside down so I can see everything I wouldn't normally.--
With the cut accomplished, the trimmings tucked deep in the trash can, and the scissors stowed safely out of any boy's ideas, I was done and just about gone. But then she opened her suitcase and whispered in my ear, "Summer's just around the corner. Cut it shorter."
Silly me, I listened, even with only a faint idea of what I was doing and full understanding that the upside down thing only works if my hair is long enough to see over the top of my head.
And... It was fairly disastrous. I had to call PTB in for some emergency repairs and I still strictly wore a ponytail for the following six weeks.

I have several examples from high school that could have been much more consequential if they had turned out disastrous. Thankfully, but no thanks to that stinkin subconscious, I'm still here and still making rash decisions from time to time. Which brings me to yesterday.

After a morning at home, my list of to dos led me to town --a stop to the doctor's, groceries and gas, and a short visit to my mom's. Just before leaving, my mom called to say that a lady she knew had some kittens. She planned to take my sisters to see them and thought the boys would like to see them too. There's no danger in looking. When the goats have their kids, I take the boys to see them. We stop to look at calves in the fields and are particularly drawn to babies at the zoo. But we never bring any home with us and maybe that's because, for the most part, it would be illegal or at least impractical. I assumed looking at kittens would proceed similarly. Here I was mistaken, because as soon as I saw this little cat and scooped her up, my subconscious whispered, "Patrick would love her."