How Long Can an Introvert Stay In?

The answer, at least for an introvert I know quite well, is a very, very long time. Like years. "Staying at home" can truly be isolating, but isolation is sometimes a comfortable prospect for an introvert. Being social is exhausting, causes heartburn, headaches, and high blood pressure. The weekly excursion to church requires the following six days for recovery.

So the introvert has a internal battle (ranging over years) between loneliness and risk. Loneliness is more comfortable to the introvert than the risk of putting herself out there, especially when she sees herself as somewhat awkward. Ridiculous? Yes, of course, but to the introvert, loneliness isn't so bad. It's tabula rasa for the creative mind. It's an opportunity to explore. Introverts know what they are at their core (not just awkward) and have giant integral webs of ideas which they work in and out of over a lifetime of cognizant meanderings.

Eventually though, fuel for exploration runs low and the introvert knows that the battle has been won. It is time to leave loneliness and comfort. And what? Join a book club? Take a dance class? Get a job?

* * * * *

Now consider for a moment the introvert whose home is the country --far from civilization; the closest town so small it shouldn't be called a village, but an out-post. In the wilderness, people are fairly hard to come by. The paucity of population becomes an aide to the introvert's tendency to hover at home. Thus, overcoming hermitdom is not a seamless task. It takes considerable effort, planning, and travel.

* * * * *

So this introvert I know, she had expended her years of staying in, being a hermit, if you will. She was finally ready to leave comfort and wander out into the world beyond her rural existence. She even had a plan, a date, a place, a time, an activity, and a ready-made group of strangers who were likely to welcome her, however quiet or awkward. She thought about it on the weekend, told her husband and mom, worked at gumption and courage, repeated plans and mantras. This would be two hours of a big deal! --Thursday morning, kids in tow.

And then it was Wednesday and she was talking herself beyond excuse after excuse. She was convincing herself through the morning, through lunchtime, as she waited for the afternoon bus. This was a worthwhile endeavor. At least, that's what she had to tell herself every few minutes. Being social racks the nerves of an introvert, so her cloudy dizziness and fluttery stomach were to be expected, or that's another phrase she had to repeat to herself, "This is to be expected". There are certainly physiological symptoms caused by incorporeal maladies, as any introvert knows. However, it seems in retrospect, that the physiological distresses of her day should have been attributed more to the stomach bug, which had plagued her husband just days prior, than just to nerves.

By early evening, the undulations and vertigo turned to outright flu-like symptoms and all of her days of self-convincing, promoting, encouraging, and arranging were literally flushed down the drain. Repeatedly. All through the night and into Thursday morning. Instead of awkwardly meeting new people, she awkwardly wrapped her arms around the toilet as her face became well acquainted with the insides of the bowl. Poor little introvert. She looked at the clock Thursday morning, sweaty and miserable from a night of ravaging revulsions, and realized that it was exactly the time she should have been out and taking the first step to overcoming hermitdom. So she asked herself in exasperation, "How long can an introvert stay in?"

The answer, my friends, is a little bit longer.